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http://losttheplotagain.doodlekit.com**New stuff coming soon... honest**
Strictly no under 18's on this site.
Ok... I've finally added a new blog, with more coming soon. Sorry. It had to be done.New photo's being added too... including cake. What? Its important.Actually I've tweaked this page a little bit, so its 'spot the new content' day! What joyus fun. But new blogs will be coming soon... I can feel them. I'm also in the process of making it a more 'viewer friendly' - hopefully the new black background will enhance the photo's... I'm going to miss that windmill though! I've learned that I have Aspergers... it can only bring more crap for you to plough through. Right, I've started as I mean to go on - in an endless tirade of meaningless, utter crap. Let the 'fun' commence.God I wish I smoked...And for the lazy amongst you, I have added a tiny bit more to ' Page 2'. I thought I'd tell you to save you faffing about and having to find out for yourselves. God forbid you actually did something whilst youre here... Its a bind for me, so I know how you feel. What? I DID say a 'tiny bit'. Don't look at me like that. What do you want me to do here? Work?? Jesus.
And no. I don't know why I have advertisements for mealworms on my site.
A bit about this site...I'm creating this for you (honest)... this will be your place to come to get away from it all for a few minutes, or to read what mental nonsense is happening in the 'windmills of my mind' lately... or for you to leave me a message such as ' nice job!', 'keep up the blogging', 'I'd like to see more pics' or ' please... just stop now!'. Actually, thats all a total lie.. I'm creating it for me... as a place to let off steam, get my thoughts down rather than mumbling to myself as i pither around the house aimlessly. If it just so happens to bring a smile to your face, make you giggle from time to time, or even perhaps make you think....then my work here is done.
I'm very new to building websites, blogging etc... see this pic - the one up above... the beautiful scene, the trees, the incredible lighting, the elevated position the photograph was taken from... that picture took ages to get right. It took time to find that location, time to set up all the photography equipment, time to read light meter readings, wait for the exact right moment, and then the shot was taken... its beautiful isn't it? I have NO damned idea where that pic is, where it came from, what its doing on my site... nothing. Its absolutely sod all to do with me. Its just THERE. What i would like though, is for you, the people who are taking the time and bothering to read my utter idiotic ramblings - YOU, to tell me what you'd like to see. Is the site comfortable for you to read? Would you prefer a slightly different layout? Different colour background or text? I don't mind... it tells me i can manage my site, make it my own, add, take away, everything... now if only it would do something useful like get off its arse and get me some coffee - I'd be VERY grateful! My, grammar, spelling, grasp of the English language is ok... but if i make the odd mistake in my rushed efforts to get my latest head-rant down in writing / typing... I hereby apologise and request that you inform me of said mistake, so that i can correct it, and make this space a better place. On the other hand, i might just think 'oh arseholes to it'. See over there? ~~~~> Way over there on the right? Wayyyyy way over and down a bit? There's a box there, and it says i can put my 'hours of business or operation' in there. My 'opening times'. I don't have anything to sell, yet. But just for you, I'm open ALL hours. I wont let you down... you want a 24 hour place too come and visit... you got it. Just don't forget to close the door on your way out. Now it says i can change the font colour... and I just changed it to green... see any difference? Maybe you need your eyesight checked... as I do. Cos, between you and me... I see sod all difference. Tell you what... lets try another... Burlywood. Cool isn't it! I hope I'm not paying for this.
Just in case i don't update as often as i maybe should...I am moving house. Again. I have just moved house... from England to Canada. It wasn't fun. In fact having a pineapple the size of Seattle forcibly inserted into a small orifice which isn't supposed to accept such items is considerably more fun than moving house. I hope that once in said house... I stay there. For at least a year anyway. Or until said house falls down the cliff its on after previously un-heard of and unknown seismic activity has an adverse effect on the local surroundings and the ground beneath my very feet collapses into the Pacific Ocean. Most probably whilst I'm on the loo.. *note for our fellow North Americans - 'loo' - toilet. ---------------------------------------------------------------
This is my first attempt at a Blog site.... I will be updating it regularly and fiddling with it 'till it sadly turns its head, and - like an over-used whore, huskily asks 'oh what now?' Be kind to my mistakes. ----------------------------------------------------------------
A very kind gentleman recently said this to me - ''Welcome to the planet, we've been waiting for you'' - I'll admit that its been a long hard struggle to get here, but i think I'm going to like it ;-) |
| I have recently emigrated...And I'm still getting used to things living in Northern America... its taking me a while... i have NO idea what some things are. What the hell is 'Homo Milk' ????
A bit about me...Well... I can come across as very cynical and bad tempered... I'm not, honest! I do have a very dry sense of humour, and I will state things very matter of factly now and then - which I know can be very annoying for others... I'm British, and as such, I put myself down, I laugh at myself more than is probably healthy, I don't give myself credit for anything I do or say, and I take the piss... a LOT. I'll take it out of myself, you, anything... its what we do, and one of the few things we do well... see? Its started already.
What am i like? Hmmm thats a real tough one. I'll tell you a few of my traits etc... I may come across as bold, fearless, assertive, confident... I'm not. When I talk to people face to face I get shy, nervous, and I stutter and fluff my words all over the place... I will make up whole new words this way. I also make up new words for other reasons. Pishion is one. A pishion is neither a cushion or a pillow... I can never remember which item is which, so calling them ALL 'pishions' makes my life easier. I'm an idiot. No, really, I am. I lose myself in my own train of thought sometimes, I go off on tangents, I can very suddenly and abruptly forget what the hell I was saying, straight out the blue, mid-sentence, and go totally blank. I have Aspergers... figures huh? I'm only just learning about that actually, maybe its the reason I go 'into' myself for weeks on end sometimes and find it hard to function, communicate, and BE? No idea! I'm depressive (manic? or just a depressive with Aspergers? We're not sure anymore...and I no longer care.)... I will be very productive and 'up' one day, have mad, rushing thoughts and ideas, and not be able to get what I need to say down fast enough. One silly thought will lead to another, and another, and so on, on those days I can entertain a whole room of people, redecorate the spare room, unblock the toilet, make you dinner, and recite the complete works of whoever whilst whistling Dixie with a broom up my arse, sweeping the floor as I go. The next day I will be quiet, need space, have blinding headaches, not understand anything, be very mentally confused, and not be able to produce so much as a fart. I'm a chronic insomniac. I can usually deal with this, taking Melatonin helps. But sometimes I have such a bad 'attack' of insomnia, that I don't sleep more than a few minutes at a time... it works like this - I take hours to fall asleep... then after say 10, 15, 20 minutes, I will wake. It then takes me another several hours to get back to sleep, where I will wake again after 10, 15, 20 minutes... this goes on for weeks. Eventually I start to lose the plot... I did this several months ago. I tried a different type of medication to see if sleep would come to me and hold me tightly and safely in her arms... it drove me insane. I didn't know when I was asleep or awake, I didn't know if it was day or night, I didn't know what was real and what was a dream, I even ended up in the garden in the middle of the night, thinking ' what the hell did i come out here for?', then realised I had sleep walked and needed to pee really badly! Honestly, this is the way my life is! At this same time, I also 'heard voices' which to be honest, for someone like me is VERY scary! Ive already had several 'breakdowns' and I don't wish to have another anytime soon... but no sleep and new medication gave me a God-like booming voice in my head... it didn't tell me to 'seek higher ground'. It didn't tell me to ' kill because I ask it'. It didn't instruct me to give away worldly possessions and go live on a plateau and contemplate the meaning of life. No... this voice simply gave me one order... Turn the fucking tap off.
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I have lots of rude words on my 'fridge. I collect things... masks, swords, books, things I buy on my travels, old things... creepy old things... comic books, and generally just 'odd' stuff.
I'm a techy / geeky / nerdy type... I love Macbooks, the PS3, Blu Ray, Flip camcorders, iPod Touch, World of Warcraft, and fiddlng about on the PSN... my favourite Podcast is The Totally Rad Show, my favourite thing to watch on tv is the BBC's 'Click'. Yep, I'm sad! I survive on good coffee, toast and pistachio nuts... wine is also a nice addition, as is good chocolate... if you feel the need or desire to send me gifts, either of the above is good (failing cash). I'm found loitering at Youniverse, and I will write reviews on anything you want... payment can be made in pounds, dollars, coffee, or Tanqueray gin. I like taking photographs, lots of them. My camera's, lenses and other bits and pieces are things I would protect with my very life. As are my dogs. And my family. And erm a few other things and people... no help at all am I really. I've already decided what I want as my epitaph / on my tomb stone / whatever - ' It was alllllll a load of bollocks'. ----------------------------------------------------
You'll find all the 'legal stuff' right at the very bottom of this page. Its not-so-cleverly-disguised as well, erm, just more crap really. Anyway, welcome! |
